Safe by Jenny Guarino

I waved my arm closer to the front door where I knew the SmartReader was and pushed the door again, hard, but still wouldn’t open. Turning around, I surveyed the street. Tina was nowhere to be seen. She had sped off quickly without a backwards glance or goodbye, dropping me off like she was doing me the favor. “Teenagers” I shook my head irritated.

The snow was starting to fall more heavily.  A layer of white covered the ground and large snowflakes were landing on my head. I shivered and pulled my coat around me more tightly. The street was quiet and peaceful like a Christmas card scene. Only it was September, not December. A bit early for our first snow. I sighed as I walked over and pressed the GlobalHelp button on the wall.

After five minutes and twenty seconds listening to “Without You” a foreign voice finally parroted “GlobalHelp. Can I assist you?”

“Yes,” I responded, “I just tried to get into my house. But my door won’t open. It’s freezing here and I need to get inside.” I was really hoping that this person knew what they were doing.

“Yes, Madam. I need authentication in order to help you. Please press your left thumb on the reader pad, swipe your arm again, and look straight at the reader” answered the voice in a monotone, like he was reading from a rehearsed speech.

I did as he instructed without complaining, as I knew this was part of the standard security procedure. “Did you get that?” I asked when I had finished.

“You are not authenticated. Do  you have your left thumb on the reader?” the voice asked again.

I was starting to get irritated. “Yes of course. I have done this a million times”

“Please be patient Madam. I have to work through a prescribed sequence to get resolution to this problem as quickly as possible.”

“Look. You need to know that I am not one of those people who don’t understand how this things works. My job is in this area.” I pressed the GlobalHelp button again to disconnect. This person clearly could not problem solve. I wasn’t going to waste any more time on him.

I pressed speed dial one on my cell phone. It rang endlessly then finally a voice answered. “Mom?”

“Tina?” There was no response. I couldn’t keep her attention, even on the phone. “Typical,” I thought, then repeated, “Tina!”

“Yes, Mom” Tina’s voice had a bored tone, like she was making an effort to appear “cool” to her friends. There was background buzz. I couldn’t work out whether Tina was at a bar or coffee shop. I hoped it was the coffee shop.

“Tina, I can’t get in the house for some reason. There is a problem with the security. Drive home and let me in.”

“But Mom…” Tina whined.

Tina must have forgotten where she was. Or maybe whining was ok in front of her friends, I thought before replying “No buts. I’m freezing. The snow’s getting heavier. Come home now!” From previous experience, I knew I had to be definite and give no leeway for any maneuvering.

“That’s crazy. You make those things…And you can’t get into the house. Ridiculous!”

Tina knew how to get under my skin, but I stayed calm. “So you’ll come straight home?” I persisted.

“Ok…On my way now” Tina said reluctantly as she hung up the phone.

I looked down the street again. We were at the end of a cul-de-sac. There was no one around. I guessed it was a bit late for people to be out and about. I thought of introducing myself to one of the neighbours but that would be a last resort. Too many questions. Too much explanation. And besides I wanted to be here when Tina arrived.

I stamped my feet and rubbed my hand together to stay warm. We had moved into the house in winter. Tina was so small then, just out of her diapers, and we had built a welcoming snowman right out in front. I had rolled the snow, with Tina following excitedly behind and around me, tripping me up. We had add the eyes, then a carrot for the nose. “I can do it myself, Mom,” Tina had insisted when I tried to help her with the details. The final touch was her favorite right red scarf wrapped around the neck. “Look at my snowman!” Tina had said proudly when we were finished. Then she had run over to me with a huge smile on her face and said happily,” Show snowman Daddy?”

My cell phone was ringing. I pulled it out of my pocket, looked at the caller id and saw it was Jason. “Jason, hi, thanks for calling me back.”

“Sure, what’s up?” Jason answered, in his usual relaxed manner.

“I have a security access problem getting into my house. I am stuck outside, in the middle of nowhere, and it’s snowing here. GlobalHelp were not much of a help as usual. Do you have nay ideas?”

“Hmmm. We didn’t make any major system changes today. Should be fine,” his voice started to sound interested as he realized there was a puzzle to solve. “Did you do anything different today?”

“Nothing different at all. My normal routine” I replied “What are the options here?”

“Well, I think you know them. GlobalHelp will tell you if there is a system problem…”

“They told me it was an authentication problem”, I interrupted.

“Authentication? Wow. You will need to go into Registration then and have yourself checked out.”

“I guessed as much” I replied. “Is there anything else I could do in the meantime? I can’t get to my car right now.” I wasn’t going to tell Jason that my daughter was on her way over and would be able to let me in. Maybe I could fix the problem before she got here.

Pretty weird…”Jason pondered, “We never have these sort of problems, well, very rarely that is. There is an override for power situations, but you don’t have a power outage do you? Maybe I could simulate that. I would need to get Director approval too somehow.” He paused for a minute, and I figured he was thinking through ways to break the system. Finally he spoke again, “Let me see what I can do.” Then the phone line went dead.

I smiled. Jason was so preoccupied that he had just hung up on me. Just like a techo. I looked at my watch again. It had been half an hour since I called Tina. I wondered what had happened to her. Usually I imagined all sorts of horrors; a car accident, someone slipping something in to her drink, a violent reaction to peanuts, a crazy guy with a gun or a knife, but tonight my concern was turning more into annoyance, thinking that she was probably chatting with friends when she should be coming home to let me in.

I wished for a minute that we hadn’t chosen to live in such a remote location. Registration was a good half an hour walk away. I looked down at my feet. My high heels wouldn’t make it that far. We really should have mobile Registration offices I thought. Like the way doctors used to do house calls.

It was getting colder. The neighbors’ houses were starting to look more inviting. Tina wasn’t answering her cell phone so I left another message. I made a mental note that her cell phone was going to be confiscated for a while when I got hold of her and started to think through what to do next. I was not far enough up the SafeSystems to pull any strings, no matter what Tina might think. Jason was my best bet and I knew he would call be as soon as he had something.

I swiped my arm one more time to see if I could get the door open, but it was holding firm. I had already checked the back door which would not budge either. I told myself to keep it together and started to carefully walking towards the closest house with a light on. I penguin shuffled over, not wanting to add to my discomfort by slipping on the black ice on my driveway.

I knocked on the door, hoping the old couple inside could hear me. I knew it was unlikely they would answer the door. My authentication wasn’t working, so the doorbell wouldn’t work, and they couldn’t validate my SecureData either. But it was worth a try. After all we had waved at each other a couple of times. Hopefully they would look at their SafeMonitor and recognize me. I banged on the door again, harder this time.

Muffled sounds came from inside. The lights inside turned off. There was more shuffling then quiet. Ok, so they are not going to help me, I realized. It was unlikely that anyone else in the street would either. I envied all the families that lived in these houses, warm and cozy, with their loved ones and extended families, help each other out with a quick phone call when needed.

Why didn’t I know anyone in the street? I asked myself with a little regret. I worked long days, and my routine when I got home was to have a quick dinner, watch a bit of television, and then get on the phone again for some more business calls. I was just too tired to make an effort to get to know the neighbors as well. I talked to people on conference calls all day long, locked in my office “cell”, and needed some peace and quiet at home. I knew people all around the world, but none in the city I lived. Even my boss lived in another city. Tina knew many more people here than I did. She was a social butterfly, constantly tell me to “get a life” beyond work.

There was a time when I had made more of an effort. Before Sam died. Sam had been my rock. We had met at a bar. I had uncharacteristically gone out for a few drinks after work. I must admit that even then I had a tendency towards being a workaholic. My colleagues had dragged me there reluctantly, but after a few drinks I had loosened up and started to enjoy myself. Sam had come over and sat next to me, with a charming, almost cheeky smile and bright blue eyes that looked right into my soul. He used a quaint pick up line, “What’s a pretty girl like you hanging out here without a fella?” and I was hooked.

I started to make my way back across the street, trying to think of what to do next. I had no money for a taxi.  I could call the emergency hot line on my cell phone, but who knew what they would do with me if my authentication wasn’t working. They would work it out eventually, but in the meantime I might be put in a cell, or interrogated. Not a pleasant thought. This sort of thing just didn’t happen. Authentication always worked.

My thoughts drifted back to Sam. I still missed him, after all these years. My heart still ached. I missed his welcoming smile, his cheerful nature, and impromptu plans. “Let’s go to Chicago for the weekend!” he’d say, and off we’d go, on the spur of the moment, to see “Wicked” and stay in a fancy hotel.

Tina was the bright spark that kept me going now. Kept me focused. With mountains of bills to pay, and Tina to raise on my own, I was madly saving so that she could go to college. I wanted to make sure that she didn’t miss out because Sam wasn’t around. I probably did let her get away with too much, I reflected. I needed to follow through on my discipline. But it was too ate, she was beyond that now.

I looked at the house again. Sam and I had built it together, on a huge treed lot. We had overextended ourselves. “Are you sure we can afford this?” I had said, looking at the plans, but he had insisted. “I have a solid reliable job. It’s our dream house. We can grow old in it together,” he had replied as he turned and gave me a huge happy hug.

My cell phone rang, interrupting my thoughts. It was Jason. “Sorry it took me so long. I can’t break the code. I’ve tried everything I can think of. You’re going to have to go to Registration to sort this one out. There just isn’t an override I can use without landing us both into deep water.” His voice sounded disappointed.

“Ok, Jason, thanks for trying. My daughter will be her soon and she can let me in.” I replied, not wanting to tell him that I wasn’t really sure how long I would be stranded for.

“Sure, anytime” he said as he hung up.

I leaned back against the cold brick wall, relieving the pressure off my feet. My shins were getting sore from all the standing. I sat at a desk all day, not really getting any exercise. This was another reminder that I needed to get fit. Tina was always telling met o go to a class. “Mom you should go to yoga, pilates, anything that gets you moving.  You’re just not healthy!”

Sam had been a fitness fanatic. We had gone to the gym together regularly. That’s why his death had been so unexpected. It was Christmas Eve. We had been getting ready for midnight mass. Tina was just six years old, all excited to be going out late in the evening, even if it was just to church. She danced around, all dressed up in a pretty pink dress and matching coat. As we started to go out to the car, Sam had turned red in the face, clutching his chest, with a puzzled look at me. “I don’t feel too good”, he said as he collapsed on the floor in front of me.

The first year or two had been a blur. I cried constantly. I found out how large the mortgage was, and how large his student loans were. All things he had taken care of before. I felt so alone, like before Sam arrived on the scene. People tried to help me, but I wasn’t interested. I guess I put the barriers back up. I knew how to do that well. I just wouldn’t answer the door or the calls. Didn’t let anyone in. Except Tina. Tina was the bright spark in my life. She gave me joy and purpose.

That reminded me. Where was Tina? I text messaged her again. “Call me. It’s urgent.” I paced around on the porch, trying to calm myself. I knew she would come home eventually. She always got home safely. I needed to be patient.

I really should get more connected to others around here I thought. Tina constantly reminded me I must make more of an effort. She would say, “I’m going to college in just over a   year, Mom. You better have a plan. I won’t be around, Mom. I am going to have my own life.” It sounded harsh the way she said it, hurtful even, but I guess she was right.

The cell phone rang. It was Tina. She sounded annoyed. “Mom. What were all the text messages and phone calls for? I told you I was on my way. You’re wasting my time with junk calls. Couldn’t Mr Jones or Mrs Wiscom have let you in their houses until I got home?”

“You know…I don’t really know them.” I was forced to reply.

“Really, Mom”, she said exasperated. I could hear the sound of the garage door going up and could see the headlights of the car coming down the street. “I can’t believe you still don’t know anyone around here. I’m not going to be able to help you out forever, you know,” she finished as she hung up the phone.

As the car pulled up the driveway and into the garage I started to relax. “Hey, beautiful!” I said to Tina as I walked towards the car, “I’m so glad to see you! I was getting a bit cold out there.”

“No worries, Mom” she said patiently as she got out of the car, and gave me a quick glance and a hug before heading inside.

I followed her up the stairs to the door, “After I change into more comfortable clothes, I’ll need you to drive me to Registration to get my authentication fixed…I won’t be able to start the car until then.”

“Sure Mom” she said as she swiped her arm by the SmartReader to get in.

As I followed her inside I felt a comforting wave of warmth envelope me. I looked ahead and saw that she was moving quickly down the hallway to her room. Her silhouette was disappearing. Trying to catch her I called out loudly “What did you say the neighbour’s names were?” I heard her door slam, and loud music, muffled, reverberated towards me. I sighed. Turning around, I hung my coat on the hook, pushed the door shut behind me and headed to my bathroom for a welcoming hot shower.